I'm a Heroin Addict. (The Truth About Everything)

  • Ajoutée Il y a mois

    Taylor Nicole DeanTaylor Nicole Dean

    Durée: 1:15:12

    Opening up about my abuse. This was very hard to film. It's extremely personal and it's hard putting this kind of story out there for people to leave their opinions on. It was long overdue, though. I've talked about this on Twitter and Instagram; but typing pieces of it on there is one thing, while telling the full story to nearly 2 million subscribers is another. Thank you for listening, I hope to see a lot of you continue to stick around and watch me grow. I'm two months clean and hope to put this chapter of my life behind me. This is the story of the last two years of my life, my emotionally and verbally abusive relationship, and how everything in my life fell apart. I am now putting the pieces back together and am looking forward to continue to share my passion of animals with y'all and my love of entertainment.
    SECOND VIDEO TO WATCH AFTER THIS ABOUT MY REHAB EXPERIENCE: fr-film.net/v-vid%C3%A9o-r7XB9ErEZNQ.html
    **Guide through this video**
    0:00- Opening, Introduction
    7:00 - Trigger Warning
    7:15- the start up of my channel
    11:27- quitting my job
    13:22- I start the story about my relationship
    19:42- my first encounter with drugs
    24:00- bad experiences while living w my boyfriend (talks about a lot of incidents with drugs)
    41:15- how I ended up shooting heroin for the first time, and my addiction story to it follows.
    1:00:00- How I Got Sober
    ------------------------
    IF YOU'RE STRUGGLING WITH ADDICTION, THERE IS HOPE.
    IF I CAN DO IT, YOU CAN. There's no such thing as too far gone, there's no such thing as a hopeless case. Recovery is possible for everyone.
    National Substance Abuse Hotline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
    National Domestic Abuse Hotline: Call 1-800-799-7233
    www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/get-help
    IF YOU HAVE LOVED ONES STRUGGLING WITH ADDICTION/ALCOHOLISM:
    PLEASE consider going to Al-Anon! This is a free, fully anonymous program for NON ADDICTS affected by the disease. Basically, if a toll is being taken on your life in any way due to a struggling addict in your life (Rather it be your partner, brother, sister, mom, grandpa, friend, etc) this program is made for you. It's a place you can go that helps you heal from any pain, let go of any resentments, gain knowledge about why things have happened in your relationship with the addict, etc. It is not a place for addicts, but a place for the loved ones of addicts. This place does not work around making a victim out of the addict. You do not even have to have the addict in your life currently or ever again to truly benefit from this program. These meetings are always locally run, and some flow better than others based on your personality. I'd highly suggest googling Al-Anon (NOT AA, this is different) meetings in your area and attending one, and if you don't like it, try another one the next time you're free. I have heard nothing but amazing comments from people who have attended. It truly helps you understand what is happening in the addicts brain, and provides you with a safe understanding environment so share and heal. And if you have been affected by an addict, you absolutely deserve clarity and to heal.
    -----------------
    WATCH MORE:
    My Latest Videos - goo.gl/6Bwvua
    CLICK TO SUBSCRIBE TO SUPPORT ME AND MY ANIMALS: goo.gl/1GlVxm
    ------------------
    FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
    TWITTER: twitter.com/taylorndean
    INSTAGRAM: instagram.com/taylorndean
    SNAPCHAT: @TAYLORNDEAN
    --------------------------

Taylor Nicole Dean
Taylor Nicole Dean

***Families, Friends, and Partners of Current or Former Struggling Addicts PLEASE Read* First off, I never could've predicted such an amazing outpour of support in which I am receiving from this video. I posted a more in-depth thank you on instagram (@taylorndean) if you'd like to hear more of what I have to say. I truly cannot thank you all for being so open minded and kind enough, I love you guys so much, thank you for being a part of my healing. Secondly, IF YOU HAVE LOVED ONES STRUGGLING WITH ADDICTION/ALCOHOLISM: PLEASE consider going to Al-Anon! This is a free, fully anonymous program for NON ADDICTS affected by the disease. Basically, if a toll is being taken on your life in any way due to a struggling addict in your life (Rather it be your partner, brother, sister, mom, grandpa, friend, etc) this program is made for you. It's a place you can go that helps you heal from any pain, let go of any resentments, gain knowledge about why things have happened in your relationship with the addict, etc. It is not a place for addicts, but a place for the loved ones of addicts. This place does not work around making a victim out of the addict. You do not even have to have the addict in your life currently or ever again to truly benefit from this program. These meetings are always locally run, and some flow better than others based on your personality. I'd highly suggest googling Al-Anon meetings in your area and attending one, and if you don't like it, try another one the next time you're free. I have heard nothing but amazing comments from people who have attended. It truly helps you understand what is happening in the addicts brain, and provides you with a safe understanding environment to share and heal. And if you have been affected by an addict, you absolutely deserve clarity and to heal.

Il y a mois
Bay_Pony_Equine
Bay_Pony_Equine

mauracat did you watch the video? it’s not that easy..

Il y a 14 heures
Junaid Khan
Junaid Khan

Taylor Nicole Dean https://youtu.be/KDL__Tirup0

Il y a jour
ElGallo IzBeast
ElGallo IzBeast

Taylor I'm sorry if my comment offends you. But you are sooo Gorgeous, you have a genuine love for people and Animals. I'm sorry that you went through the things you did. But you could have done so much better than him, if I could find a beautiful girl like you with love of people and animals I would spoil you not excessively of course but I wouldn't let you struggle. So I don't get it, that you went through just amazes me.

Il y a jour
Olivia Hanson
Olivia Hanson

Taylor Nicole Dean, you are so brave! ❤️❤️❤️

Il y a 2 jours
Ghost Spider
Ghost Spider

I'm sending prayers and good vibes your way. Stay strong ❤

Il y a 3 jours
boobies rkoozies
boobies rkoozies

I started following you a long time ago bc I loved your love for you animals and getting to see them. I recently got back into your channel bc of a podcast that you were on. I just remembered how sad you sounded and how alone you felt and how tired you were. I am so happy to hear that you are okay. You're great Taylor! Thank you for you honesty and using your platform to help others.

Il y a 4 heures
Calli Jackson
Calli Jackson

dam your lips are on fleek

Il y a 5 heures
Mighty Bro
Mighty Bro

I was looking for videos about making habitats for preying mantis and I found this video under the Habitat video you made 2 years ago . It might sound really crazy but I truly understand the full effects of drugs and how it causes addiction and it really shines down on how drugs n friends around you can cause you to do things you never wanted . I’ve lost my best friend to Methamphetamine and suicide Sometimes you can’t save people from themselves and what they want the most . Sounds like I’m talking out my “a” double “s” but that’s the sad part about life in this day and age

Il y a 9 heures
Brooklynn Rose
Brooklynn Rose

Although I didn't watch the whole entire video, I'm sorry you had to go through what you did. I want you to know that even though some people might not agree, we're all your family, mainly the people that follow you and except who you are!

Il y a 10 heures
Holden Wright
Holden Wright

Taylor I have not had a addiction before but I know what it feels like to die it does suck but YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT just keep going to the meetings and fighting that addiction again YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT you can do it I may be a 11 YEAR OLD but I battle with ADHD and terrible anger issues and geting in so much trouble and I am trying so so so so so so so so so hard if you do the same you will get through it

Il y a 10 heures
Courtney’s Critters
Courtney’s Critters

I am so beyond proud of you, and anybody who’s able to get clean out of a horrible drug like that, or being through a long traumatic abuse as unimaginably terrible as that. I cannot express how proud of you I am. Thank you for still being here and being strong enough to make it through that.

Il y a 11 heures
Geneviève Carine Robert
Geneviève Carine Robert

Aw sweetheart :c I'm so sorry you ever felt that way about yourself, and for all the pain you went through. Please, if you haven't, make things easier for yourself by deleting the dealer's phone number! I'm here if you ever need to reach out to someone. Seriously, any time you feel lonely and need someone to talk to. (@watercritters on ig)

Il y a 11 heures
moonyeti
moonyeti

i’m so proud of you and your recovery from using. i wish u nothing but the best :) xx

Il y a 12 heures
carter
carter

taylor where’d you get your bodysuit

Il y a 14 heures
Anxiety pills
Anxiety pills

I’m so proud of you. It’s honestly a bit sad that I’m only 10 years old and I understand everything in this video. I have known people (my moms friends, babysitters, etc) who have struggled a lot with heroin and drug addiction. However, I’m so so so proud that Nicole is getting better and recovering. I could tell after Cheese died that there was something going on with her. I compared her attitude then with older videos and I could tell something was wrong. But If Nicole sees this comment, she should love herself no matter what. She shouldn’t change herself to please others on the internet. If your struggling or know someone who’s struggling with addiction, please encourage or get help. I’m here if anybody needs to talk.

Il y a 15 heures
Haein Billè
Haein Billè

The only “drug” I’ve had is Tylenol from when I had a cold😂😂

Il y a 16 heures
hira and her parrot
hira and her parrot

Why would you say all that on camera not trying to be offensive but I would never see your channel again

Il y a 17 heures
Geneviève Carine Robert
Geneviève Carine Robert

She explains why clearly in the video.

Il y a 11 heures
Angela Rarara
Angela Rarara

She shared it with us because the truth is always the most valuable thing you can give and receive.

Il y a 14 heures
Thomas Hidalgo
Thomas Hidalgo

Taylor , your choice to live , instead of being controlled , is awesome ! You can be as strong as you let yourself be !

Il y a 19 heures
xxXADDONEXUSXxx
xxXADDONEXUSXxx

Move on, forget the past that’s dragged you down. You’re so fucking hot, you could literally live a perfect life. Weigh your consequences of the live you’ve lived versus the live you can live.

Il y a 22 heures
עתליה רוט
עתליה רוט

I love you.

Il y a jour
Sean Gatesman
Sean Gatesman

You can get through it Taylor

Il y a jour
Rikki Dorking
Rikki Dorking

Sending you love and positive vibes! You got this girl! I believe in you! 💕

Il y a jour
J hill
J hill

HEY YOUR CUTE OVER HERE HEY YOUR CUTE

Il y a jour
Nehemiah Myles
Nehemiah Myles

Wo Love You

Il y a jour
Rad Rose
Rad Rose

And please stop saying that there was no neglect in your animal care. Because there was. And that comes with drug addiction.

Il y a jour
Daily Dose of vlogs
Daily Dose of vlogs

I dont wanna go be the meanie but what youre saying is rude.... she wouldve never been in this situation of he never told her to shoot up heroine... Im

Il y a jour
Rad Rose
Rad Rose

I think you need to stop blaming him for everything.

Il y a jour
Isabel Salas
Isabel Salas

@Deer Bones for what? her disease???

Il y a 10 heures
Deer Bones
Deer Bones

@a s h l y n free speech. She needs to take responsibility.

Il y a 17 heures
a s h l y n
a s h l y n

keep your thoughts to yourself.

Il y a 20 heures
Ashley Figueroa
Ashley Figueroa

I am a heroine addict I struggle constantly with my addiction and I speak very openly about it and I really appreciate your story.

Il y a jour
appIees
appIees

i now understand what’s happening, and i remember him instantly when you said “you guys know him” or something. i wish i would’ve done something. i didnt know much, because i was just a young kid, and im learning a whole lot, a lot more for a 14 year old. i also finished this video, and i for somehow believe my friend is going through this, but i dont even know what’s happening. thank you for this video, because i worried for my friends, and helping her earlier if anything like this happens. taylor thank you, for opening up, trusting all of us, the internet to share your story.

Il y a jour
Taco
Taco

I’m so glad you are sober, keep it up!

Il y a jour
Blep_ ;-;
Blep_ ;-;

I am so proud of you. I love you Taylor . You are so brave.

Il y a jour
Mr Banana
Mr Banana

good you are healing

Il y a jour
Todd Beaver
Todd Beaver

Im a recovering addict as well August was my 3 year sober mark. Im so proud of you. Its a challenge it gets easier but never goes away. Everything I heard you say is so true especially about addiction being a disease. I to took suboxin after 1 day it put me in the hospital for 3 days. Its the worst thing I have ever been through.

Il y a jour
Summer Morey
Summer Morey

I have faith in you taylor ik u can battle the addiction it may take u awhile to not have the urge to use but i know u can become yourself again the u that u were before the addiction , you are strong you got this.

Il y a jour
Richard Barksdale
Richard Barksdale

I am so glad , you are being honest and up front with your feelings, and life choices thank you for sharing this story with us. I am so sorry that this other person came into your life but you know my parents always told me you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family. You know thank God they were right. I have been able to move on and meet lots of much better people and friends who appreciate me for who I am and not who I was.Hope some of this is helpful and good therapy for you. You didn't mess anything up because honesty is the best policy Your such a good person, love you and all your pets.

Il y a jour
Reem Jawad
Reem Jawad

stay clean sending love

Il y a jour
Carina Jansson
Carina Jansson

❤️ Bless you Taylor 🙏❤️

Il y a 2 jours
Naomi Rose
Naomi Rose

I've been so worried. I'm so happy you let the YouTube channel fans know and I'm so happy you are back

Il y a 2 jours
Rose Storm
Rose Storm

I unsubscribed because I couldn't watch you spiral down & I was very worried for you. This video was so important to make & I am so proud of you for being so open about all this. I'm subscribed once again & wish you all the luck at staying sober. We are all rooting for you💖

Il y a 2 jours
Steph Chev
Steph Chev

Honestly I'm so happy you are back to your happy upbeat self again 💜 proud of you for doing this 💜

Il y a 2 jours
BULA
BULA

I am new to your channel and I love the content you have about your pets , I myself dont have any yet but really enjoy seeing all your pets and really enjoy all the information on how to take care of your pets. I saw this video and I was like no way she doesnt look like anyone who would use, she looks so happy but truthfully that was you making all that. I have to give you so much credit for opening up and telling your story. I am happy you are sober now and I can't wait to see your content

Il y a 2 jours
Mass Murda 413 47
Mass Murda 413 47

Just got back on subs a week ago. Keep fighting Taylor. Been watching you since I first seen Cheese.

Il y a 2 jours
Mass Murda 413 47
Mass Murda 413 47

Imagine being dope sick and having all them animals to care for?

Il y a 2 jours
CICHLID STRAIN HUNTER
CICHLID STRAIN HUNTER

New here just subbed!

Il y a 2 jours
Jade Doyle
Jade Doyle

Stay strong! You can do this, I just subscribed and watched a couple of your old videos when this one came up. Proud of you!

Il y a 2 jours
Diamond Squad
Diamond Squad

I wish I where there to hug you got really Sad.. 😥

Il y a 2 jours
Olivia Hanson
Olivia Hanson

💖💕❤️💕💖💕❤️💕💖💕❤️

Il y a 2 jours
Rosanna Kwok
Rosanna Kwok

Thank you for posting this. You are human and make mistakes but at least you are fighting for yourself. Addiction and abuse can creep up on anyone, and you are so much stronger now for being able to realize that. Please put yourself first during this time of recovery. Take time off if you need to. Your true friends, fans, and family will still be here to support you.

Il y a 2 jours
Chrissie
Chrissie

You are so strong. I admire you and I hope everything will get better and better in the future. I wish you all the best❤

Il y a 2 jours
Lynsey Bradshaw
Lynsey Bradshaw

Im an addict in recovery and i know exactly where you have been and am so proud if where your headed just remember to take care of yourself and gratitude is key im in school to be a cdca and cant wait to start paying it forward

Il y a 3 jours
Trevanna Rachman
Trevanna Rachman

I’m so confused why did Taylor and Chris Oflyng both released a video with the EXACT same title at the exact same day?????

Il y a 3 jours
Esher Trebley
Esher Trebley

Omg your such a good person and you should not think your bad and you should be you if you have to take a brake and find yourself do that!

Il y a 3 jours
Ritesh Chawla
Ritesh Chawla

it really takes courage to admit and be so transparent, god bless you, I pray you stay sober all your life, Thanks for sharing your thoughts and emotions

Il y a 3 jours
Joe Digout
Joe Digout

That escalated quickly

Il y a 3 jours
Kylim Mintz-Rivera
Kylim Mintz-Rivera

Plz stop

Il y a 3 jours
Miguel Canete
Miguel Canete

Youtube should erase your channel. No to drug addicts

Il y a 3 jours
Deer Bones
Deer Bones

I think so too, like is she just using ad revenue to buy her fix

Il y a 17 heures
Jolieke Louwers
Jolieke Louwers

She is sober now, did you actually watch the video? Probably it would make her relapse because her channel is her income.

Il y a 3 jours
Silver Wing
Silver Wing

The addictive personality and the random suicidal tendencies sounds a lot like a bipolar episode. Have you ever thought of getting checked out for that?

Il y a 3 jours
NicNikomuONiczym
NicNikomuONiczym

You're right! Even in her rehab story she mentioned that she was feeling great and laughed really, really hard etc in the 4th to 7th (not sure) of her withdrawal, while it's not uncommon for bipolar people to have a manic episode while opioid withdrawal (me and my (ex?)bf been there, done that too many times, we're both bipolar). 'normal' people rather lay in bed for 7 days of soberity straight, afaik (Sorry for any lingual mistakes, English is not my first language)

Il y a 23 heures
cara Vermaak
cara Vermaak

Hey babe I’m just glad that your safe and ok and in a safe and happy environment 😘😘

Il y a 3 jours
Diego FT
Diego FT

Delete dealers and user friends from your life ASAP

Il y a 3 jours
killerdude1121
killerdude1121

Sorry to burst your bubble but you can leave someone at any time it's called having a choice and everyone always has a choice. Being scared is also a choice so with that being said im glad you finally made the decision to stop being scared and leave. I love and support Jonny and have for years.

Il y a 3 jours
killerdude1121
killerdude1121

@Isabel Salas 😂😂 bro. Sis. Buddy lmao i understand where she's coming from and also where you're coming from so I'm just gonna drop this.

Il y a 9 heures
Isabel Salas
Isabel Salas

@killerdude1121 Bro. Sis. Buddy... People overcome *cancer*. To "*overcome*" something is to rise above something you have no control over

Il y a 9 heures
killerdude1121
killerdude1121

@Isabel Salas funny thing is you can overcome your fears so yeah it's a choice.

Il y a 9 heures
Isabel Salas
Isabel Salas

lmao imagine thinking fear (a evolutionary, biological tool keep us alive) is a choice

Il y a 10 heures
AQUA WORLD
AQUA WORLD

It took some guts to talk about your personal problems and it is very good. I am not a person who watch your videos every day but I stop by every now and then to watch something interesting. Keep sharing, keep concentrating one your animals, family, relatives and friends who can help you with the addiction problems from now on please. Praying for your betterment of health. Keep learning about your addiction problems and what it can do to your body. Only by reading and learning how bad drug is to your body then only you can keep away from it. Praying for you girl.

Il y a 3 jours
Simon chases carp
Simon chases carp

You're awesome! Stick at it and kick addictions butt once and for all :) you're doing really well, don't give up you're a great person and unfortunately bad things happen to good people but the only way is up now 😃 you can do this proud of you focus on your animals and just stay happy ❤️

Il y a 3 jours
H2o Tiff
H2o Tiff

I’m so proud of you 💗 please delete all ties to anyone who can get drugs for you

Il y a 3 jours
bottomofastairwell
bottomofastairwell

congrats on getting clean. it's no joke. i was a junkie for like 5 years man, and for the first half of that, in an unhealthy relationship. getting clean is the hardest thing you'll ever do, but it's also the most rewarding.

Il y a 3 jours
mh94
mh94

Thank you so much for sharing and I’m so sorry that you have had to go through this. I’m so happy you’re sober and feeling good and I’m sending you my best vibes to stay strong when you feel the need to use

Il y a 4 jours

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