Video Of The Wedding Stephen Ruined With Almond Milk

  • Ajoutée Il y a 12 jours

    The Late Show with Stephen ColbertThe Late Show with Stephen Colbert

    Durée: 4:11

    In July, Stephen challenged Late Show fans to incorporate the phrase 'an almond doesn't lactate' into their wedding vows. Viewer Paul Glassman did not disappoint.
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Wrong Turn
Wrong Turn

Well, if you name a bunch of cows almond, then your almonds can lactate.

Il y a 4 jours
Wrong Turn
Wrong Turn

Oh Stephen, Trump Admi-no-stration is still following their MO. They are not cracking down on something really white (milk). They are cracking down on the browns (almonds) and yellows (soy beans) trying to join the same ranks as whites. Sadly they don't know that all milk was once green (grass that the cow ate).

Il y a 4 jours
ButterscotchBanana
ButterscotchBanana

milk milk/ noun noun: milk 1. an opaque white fluid rich in fat and protein, secreted by female mammals for the nourishment of their young. "a healthy mother will produce enough milk for her baby" the milk from cows (or goats or sheep) as consumed by humans. "a glass of milk" *_the white juice of certain plants._* "coconut milk" *_a creamy-textured liquid with a particular ingredient or use._* "cleansing milk" Oh wow, the term _milk_ applies to non-nipple-related fluids, too! Man, it's almost like this administration is full of stupid people that make stupid demands and don't understand how words work!

Il y a 5 jours
Andy L
Andy L

I would have done this in a heartbeat. I honestly wished it was last weekend instead lol

Il y a 6 jours
OC GMBeverlyHills
OC GMBeverlyHills

Speaking of milk cows...

Il y a 6 jours
Shani Smith
Shani Smith

I want a shirt too 😄!

Il y a 6 jours
EFF U
EFF U

Go Paul lol the best part is he will keep her laughing

Il y a 7 jours
tammie mcgill
tammie mcgill

Love the T shirt!

Il y a 7 jours
Hellmuth Christian Stuven
Hellmuth Christian Stuven

Hello CNN. You might find this a GOOD story to cover: The Danish Minister of Finance, in prime time in TV, just told Fox News @krish_regan to PISS OFF ("don't urinate on Denmark"), due to her LIES about Denmark. ALL what she covered was 100% FALSE. National uproar in Denmark today. https://twitter.com/trish_regan/status/1028702662387163137?s=21

Il y a 7 jours
FailNinja
FailNinja

Coconut milk has been a term for centuries and last time I checked coconuts don't lactate.

Il y a 7 jours
Crystal Sherman
Crystal Sherman

What did the groosmen hold up in the video?

Il y a 8 jours
Ya'el Rothke
Ya'el Rothke

What do you mean ruined

Il y a 8 jours
Narret
Narret

“An Almond doesn’t have nipples” Genetic Engineer: **looks around** It’s my time to shine!

Il y a 8 jours
Josie Fox
Josie Fox

So what about coconut milk or milk of magnesia?

Il y a 8 jours
Mycel
Mycel

if that couple is about to have a boy as their first child, I think Stephen just named him. xD

Il y a 8 jours
Hyb Cuz
Hyb Cuz

Oh dang everybody got a t shirt. It's like those Oprah moments.

Il y a 8 jours
Hyb Cuz
Hyb Cuz

Do the groomsmen know it's only one t shirt?

Il y a 8 jours
Duder
Duder

a free keychain? hum interesting...

Il y a 8 jours
jay hathaway
jay hathaway

hahaha. he probably already had named his first born stephen. this is my favorite clip ever. so awesome i watched it twice but i noticed you left out his best man who is partially hidden from view in the clip. 9 shirts please

Il y a 9 jours
Argiod Silvertongue
Argiod Silvertongue

Love the T-shirts!

Il y a 9 jours
ForeverMe543
ForeverMe543

Plot twist: it was all her idea.

Il y a 9 jours
BTS and NCT Trash [Yuta's Smile]
BTS and NCT Trash [Yuta's Smile]

They deserve to have something free given to them.

Il y a 9 jours
Duane Nickerson
Duane Nickerson

Oh, I guess it's ok to break the wedding vow if you keep the campaign promise.......

Il y a 9 jours
atlaskiki reality
atlaskiki reality

This guy can ruin anything. He is liberal

Il y a 9 jours
SoulJah Roch
SoulJah Roch

Thanks for the apology/Korekchun. It's a rare gift in American Culture. 🦁✌

Il y a 9 jours
Thomas Urech
Thomas Urech

The hardest part about working in a vegan coffee shop is coming in at 5:00 am to milk all the almonds.

Il y a 9 jours
Frank Bowman
Frank Bowman

The landwhales are mating....

Il y a 10 jours
Mrrreell S2
Mrrreell S2

What a twinkie nincapoop. If you don't want to spread hate and divisiveness then just shut your mouth - problem solved!

Il y a 10 jours
rowansjet
rowansjet

Bold of you to assume the wife wasn't in on it.

Il y a 10 jours
Scratches Of A Girl
Scratches Of A Girl

Only a true fan would do that. Congratulations 😍👌

Il y a 10 jours
dalysea26
dalysea26

hemp milk

Il y a 10 jours
Richard White
Richard White

I told you someone would take you up on your offer. I would do it.

Il y a 10 jours
Cheeseburger
Cheeseburger

Promise kept

Il y a 10 jours
silirat
silirat

Wait.... Magic the card game or Magic with card tricks?

Il y a 10 jours
tarbabee
tarbabee

https://www.sciencealert.com/scientists-think-we-should-start-drinking-cockroach-milk-superfood {PUKE}

Il y a 10 jours
Paul Allen
Paul Allen

There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp, and I do not hope for a better world for anyone. In fact, I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape. But even after admitting this, there is no catharsis; my punishment continues to elude me, and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself. No new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing.

Il y a 10 jours
Kelsey Jones
Kelsey Jones

Nice apple watch product placement.

Il y a 10 jours
Ayélé Mensah
Ayélé Mensah

Wow! Kudos to Paul Glassman for working that in so seamlessly!

Il y a 10 jours
Explore Greer
Explore Greer

Awesomeness!!

Il y a 10 jours
baerleon
baerleon

FUCK YEAH MAGIC

Il y a 10 jours
julie vermeulen
julie vermeulen

Unfortunately desk mind mean complain thus simply contact unique remove.

Il y a 11 jours
Bej Richard
Bej Richard

His weeding was on national television thanks to u, I think it was worth the 'an almond doesn't lactate' ^^

Il y a 11 jours
Billie from Ockham
Billie from Ockham

Given that Wizards of the Coast is on a social-justice crusade these days -- e.g., cutting off a store for the heinous crime of displaying a Kekistani flag -- you might regret linking yourself to D&D and MTG ("Magic") in the same week.

Il y a 11 jours
Tuber You
Tuber You

I'm surprised that his groomsmen are all buff. Seems that they should get him to the gym to workout with them. I don't give a shit if someone's overweight from a social POV and this guy seems like he can handle himself. Extreme obesity brings with it however many health problems such as diabetes. He would be wise to get checked for it. In fact I was 5'10"and 310 pounds when I was diagnosed with it. Just switching to diet soda and Splenda along with taking a medicine that made my system more sensitive to insulin caused me to lose about 80lbs in a few months. A friend I hadn't seen for some time asked how I had lost so much weight and I was surprised because I wasn't trying to lose weight but to manage my blood sugar. The weight loss was a bonus. Diabetes can only be detected measuring blood sugar levels over time. Worth a look.

Il y a 11 jours
potterpotty01
potterpotty01

Better make that shirt XXL

Il y a 11 jours
metalshredmetal1
metalshredmetal1

how could you make such a mistake if the guy is PUBLIC ABOUT his never trumpism? that's just trashy research and BIAS

Il y a 11 jours
Courage Karnga
Courage Karnga

Then are we allowed to crack down on presidents who are unfit to be in office?

Il y a 11 jours
Sassy Books
Sassy Books

Paul rocks! I thought it'd be beyond ridiculous but it was cute!!

Il y a 11 jours
Marci Rios
Marci Rios

This was AWESOME!!!!👊🏻👊🏻

Il y a 11 jours
kietsuhime
kietsuhime

OMG, you should get the happy couple on the show in their new shirts!

Il y a 11 jours
Rick Alan
Rick Alan

But is he at a magic convention or a Magic convention?

Il y a 11 jours
cmz8706
cmz8706

he should vow to lose some goddamn weight

Il y a 11 jours
Holly Golightly
Holly Golightly

All expense paid trip to the show!! What a cool wedding group!

Il y a 11 jours
LT Prada
LT Prada

*What **_If_** chicken breasts had nipples?* 🐔

Il y a 11 jours
RevyTwoHand
RevyTwoHand

No someone wouldn't resist putting that in their wedding vows.

Il y a 11 jours
MrKErocks
MrKErocks

What about nut BUTTERS?

Il y a 11 jours
Kelly Waters
Kelly Waters

😂😂😂🧡🧡

Il y a 11 jours
I changed My username
I changed My username

Don't forget milk of magnesia

Il y a 11 jours
Wild Vegan Child
Wild Vegan Child

Hilarious!

Il y a 11 jours
funkadunk8
funkadunk8

Dang it! I'm getting married later today and was going to do this!

Il y a 11 jours
clumsiii
clumsiii

super cool you aired their vid - Mazltob congratumacations and Good Jorb Paul Glassman!!!!

Il y a 11 jours
jah blaques
jah blaques

LOL proud of you paul!!

Il y a 11 jours
Erica Lauren Horn
Erica Lauren Horn

😂😂😂

Il y a 11 jours
Talkindurinthemovie
Talkindurinthemovie

Almond milk? Milk don't have titties... One of my all-time favorite tweets.

Il y a 11 jours
skeptile
skeptile

That guy is a legend. Not only did he do it, but he actually made it make sense in context!

Il y a 11 jours
Culminatr
Culminatr

Jonna Goldberg is correct ... it would be the biggest insult ever to be mistaken as one of 45's allies.

Il y a 11 jours
SpankTV
SpankTV

I actually don't find anything being said, horrible. But then again. I am not from the United States in Americla!

Il y a 11 jours
SpankTV
SpankTV

To almond nipples 0*/

Il y a 11 jours
Michael Newell
Michael Newell

Hahaha so funny?. but why don't you start telling the younger people to register to vote and actually vote in the upcoming midterms and current election process going on?! You have a job all day long all year long for the next rest of your lifetime if we don't get rid of this prick. The Youth of today do not. So I would greatly appreciate it if you would Express this point that you're not.! It is imperative Lee constitutionally correct morally and ethically patriotic to vote this treasonous piece of crap out of office. If you won't say it I will. Mr. Colbert, you have a moral obligation not just to make jokes and slap stick and poke a stick at a snake. You should be telling everyone to register to vote while they still have a right to do so in this country and vote their conscience.? I would greatly appreciate it if you would do this with your nationally televised broadcast. Thanks a lot buddy?

Il y a 11 jours
ken kennedy
ken kennedy

A man of his word.

Il y a 11 jours
Silvia X
Silvia X

I would totally do it if I were to get married

Il y a 11 jours
Memo Pony
Memo Pony

I'm glad Stephen is such a good sport still. :^)

Il y a 11 jours
Max Steel
Max Steel

*I DEMAND AN APOLOGY AND A RETRACTION FROM THE LATE SHOW* *I have been discriminated against, because my nipples are made of almonds and though I am a male among my species, I drink alot of soy, so I do lactate.*

Il y a 11 jours
EEStopXplore
EEStopXplore

A tshirt! What about an invitation to the show and round trip airplane tickets for the new married couple to spend two weeks all paid by the late show?!

Il y a 11 jours
David Steph
David Steph

Sure, I'll name my son Stephen...

Il y a 11 jours
Uthman Baksh
Uthman Baksh

“An almond doesn’t lactate.” - Stephen Colbert 2018.

Il y a 11 jours
Alfa fox
Alfa fox

bravo man bravo XD glassman is ahero

Il y a 11 jours
ドール ロニーIchi Anime Worx Studio
ドール ロニーIchi Anime Worx Studio

I seriously enjoy this very much.

Il y a 11 jours
ashaya logan
ashaya logan

I want a shirt!

Il y a 11 jours
Starlite Byrd
Starlite Byrd

Congrats Paul Glassman!!#freakinsweet #almondsdontlactate

Il y a 11 jours
Rose
Rose

i CHOKED when he made the milk joke omfg

Il y a 11 jours
Bozo The Clown
Bozo The Clown

I fucking love this...

Il y a 11 jours
Porfirio Hernandez
Porfirio Hernandez

Not even gonna watch this. Sounds more stupid than Trump.

Il y a 11 jours
One Two
One Two

This is just in: According to the White House, all good almonds lactate and any almond that refuses to lactate on demand will be separated from its shell and be deported.

Il y a 11 jours
Christian Portugal
Christian Portugal

Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Glassman. You should post a video clip of your wedding vows. That was clever. I wish there was a way that couple could've put more Late Show references so CBS could send them to NYC to meet Stephen Colbert.

Il y a 11 jours
Patty T
Patty T

Hue haters gonna hate

Il y a 11 jours
P.K. SILVER
P.K. SILVER

colbert is a total douchebag

Il y a 11 jours
Amy Gareis
Amy Gareis

What about coconut milk? It's been called that forever. Coconuts don't lactate either, but there you go...

Il y a 11 jours
MetalPheonix
MetalPheonix

Still not called Nut Juice.....

Il y a 11 jours
Aaron Mijail Herrera Castro
Aaron Mijail Herrera Castro

*You should invite them to the show*

Il y a 11 jours
Aaron Mijail Herrera Castro
Aaron Mijail Herrera Castro

*Well not technically, he cracked down on CANADA*

Il y a 11 jours
Scion of Madness
Scion of Madness

That's one chubby couple. They need to lay off the almond milk.

Il y a 11 jours
snail snail
snail snail

https://youtu.be/YBy5BqCv4us almonds don’t lactate? who would have thought? rape, slavery, and murder juice doesn’t sound as good as “milk” and “meat.”

Il y a 11 jours
pop5678eye
pop5678eye

Almond 'milk' is to milk as tofu is to meat.

Il y a 11 jours
Mustard Seed
Mustard Seed

Lololol Luv U Stephen. I appreciate those hurtful slurs, Hahaha.

Il y a 11 jours
Plant Maven
Plant Maven

So milkweed has to be changed too?

Il y a 11 jours
imrickjamesbeeoch
imrickjamesbeeoch

T-shirt, $10k, what's the difference, right Trump? erm Colbert?

Il y a 11 jours
P R
P R

Aww c’mon Stephen. Surely you can do better than a couple of t-shirts? At least send them some almonds!

Il y a 11 jours
Anne Stewart
Anne Stewart

But Stephen, there are SEVEN groomsmen! They'll need 10 t-shirts! 😊👍👍 Very cool, regardless. 😎

Il y a 11 jours
harmeet singh
harmeet singh

Lol, Colbert can't help but be satirical.

Il y a 11 jours
Alfredo C
Alfredo C

Paul's groomsmen are hot

Il y a 11 jours

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